After you are done reeling with shock that your preteen daughter has a crush on a boy or girl, what will you do? How will you handle the situation. You need to understand that your child is feeling a very adult emotion, and that you baby is no longer a baby. She is becoming a person with her own thoughts and individuality. Not that she wasn’t that right since the beginning, but this is when you will realise that she is growing up. When your daughter tells you about her first crush, she is doing so not just to share her feelings with you. She looks up to you to help her understand and deal with this new emotion she is feeling. Feeling lost? Don’t be, Dr Shuchi Dalvi, child psychologist, explains how to handle your daughter’s emotions when she confesses about her first crush. Be understanding: The fact that she felt confident enough to come up to you and talk about her feelings is a big pat on your back. You did a great job establishing healthy rapport with her. Now, be understanding and listen to her with attention. This is a big deal for her, of course, and you need to treat it like that. Recognise the signs: This crush of hers can be a simple harmless crush, or an infatuation. Your daughter definitely cannot tell the difference now. You have to watch out for signs. How does she act around this boy or girl in question, does it seem like something serious? Once you know where your daughter stands, you can help her deal with this new emotion better. Help her handle the feelings: Do not mock or belittle her feelings. You are wise enough to understand that there will be many more crushes to come, but not your daughter. Tell her that it is natural to feel such feelings and it only shows that she is growing up emotionally too. Set boundaries: No matter what your child’s age, its never too early to talk about boundaries. Nowadays, children as young as 7-8 have crushes. Explain to your child that having a crush is okay, and depending on the age, hugging might seem harmless too, or a peck on the cheek. But tell them what is acceptable behaviour and what is not. Heal the hurt heart: Most of the times, first crushes end with a broken heart. Its your job to heal the bruised feelings of your child. Console them and explain that a crush is not love, and nothing is forever. It will take time, but they will definitely start feeling better. Image: Shutterstock
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