What I Learned About Fatherhood From My Dad

A birthday tribute to my dad, who taught me the most important life lessons about what it means to be a father. ******************* My father grew up in a working class community outside of Boston, the son of a butcher and a homemaker. Like his dad before him, my father was tough, very tough, from an early age. He didn’t take school all that seriously, but what he lacked in book smarts he more than made up for with street smarts. While still just a kid, he learned to depend on the potent combination of his wits and fists. After high school he enlisted in the Navy, where he really grew up. Upon his return to civilian life he tried college, but didn’t stay long enough to graduate. However, he found resounding success in the real world by relying on his great instincts, incredible work ethic and relentless drive to succeed. By the time I was in grade school, my dad was well on his way to building a very successful business, a conglomerate of automobile dealerships that would become one of the largest in New England. Along the way he proved to be a true humanitarian: Over the years his companies have supported countless worthy causes, and he personally has helped many hundreds (or maybe even thousands?) of people in need, with unfailing generosity. While I’m immensely proud of all that he has accomplished, unfortunately I don’t always get along so well with my dad. He has a very old-school way of looking at things, and we really do lead different lives. Until I became a parent almost eight years ago, I’m not sure he understood my life or was able to relate to it. Politically, we couldn’t be further apart. He views current events through the lens of Fox News; I put my trust in The New York Times. I supported Obama and Hillary; he voted for Trump. Our political discussions follow a predictable path: We just repeat our opinions, already set in stone. In the heat of these discussions, we sometimes inadvertently say hurtful things to each other. There are so many important areas of our lives in which we don’t agree that, outside our family ties, I sometimes worry he and I don’t have much in common. Yet my dad is one of the most important role models of my life. Time and again he’s shown me through example what it really means to be a father. No matter how many disagreements we may have, I have always known that his love for me is unconditional and his pride in me is boundless. How? Because since I was a small child he has never been afraid to tell me and to show me through hugs, kisses and words of love and praise (often to my great embarrassment!). Well, today is my dad’s 80th birthday, and I want to celebrate the occasion by holding him up as an exemplar dad. I hope the anecdotes you’re about to […]

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